When cats do starjumps

Despite extensive research, scientists have yet to work out which way cats would do starjumps, if they did starjumps.

Really I should have called this “IF a cat could do starjumps” but I thought “When cats do starjumps” was funny because it reminds me of titles like “When Cops Go Bad” or “When Bakers Go Mad” (ok, I made that one up.)

Of course, cats DON’T do starjumps-  as far as I know. I’m judging by their general demeanour, as well as the fact that I’ve never noticed it happening. But thinking about it today I did wonder, just supposing cats did do starjumps…..how would they do them?  Would they get up on their back legs and kick out a front and back leg at each side, or would they remain on all fours and kick out a front and back pair of legs together?

Scientists that exist only in my imagination have been researching this for years now, but are unable to reach agreement. They are split into two camps, one believing that cats would go up on their back legs to execute star jumps and the other camp firmly adamant that all their tests prove that cats would remain in their usual position and kick out to the sides. Testing so far has included close observation of cats as they sleep, sit around purring, lick themselves clean, and play ever so cutely with a ball of string, as well as making them watch Jane Fonda’s aerobics dvds. Generally the cats showed no interest whatsoever in Fonda but greatly enjoyed the string. The cats are under observation 24/7, but they tend to sleep 23/7, so they are not too fussed by all the attention, as you can imagine.

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