Procrastinating? Tips for successfully avoiding that 4000 word essay!

  • Look around the house. Something must need cleaning! If you can’t find anything in your house that needs cleaning, then this is the wrong blog for you to be reading. Head on over to The anally retentive housekeeper* for some laughs.
  • Check the laundry – there is always potential to do a load of laundry. So what if it’s 9pm, dark, cold and it’s raining outside? At least it will be clean, right? And after all, it is piled up so high in the laundry basket that it has surpassed the highest point where it can sustain its basic structure as a “pile” of laundry, and has started to overflow onto the floor, more like a “wave” of laundry.
  • Also check the laundry for baskets of washing sitting around, piled high with clean clothes patiently waiting for someone to put them away. If your house is anything like mine, there will be at least 2 of those. *Extra tip: This could take up at least 45 mins if you sort and fold washing with a cup of tea and the TV on.
  • Check facebook to see what your friends are up to. Update your status, to “Procrastinating ๐Ÿ˜ฆ “
  • Check your email. Check your junkmail. Check your sent mail. Now is definitely a good time to delete all old emails and file all the ones you want to keep. That is because this exercise alone would probably take most people at least 4 days.
  • Pay a bill. Initially when I wrote that, I meant online, but now that I think about it, walking to the local post office to pay it in person would be a far more successful way to procrastinate. So, walk to the post office and pay a bill. You’ll get fit, and by the time you’ve waited in the queue at the postoffice, the deadline for your essay will have passed and you’ll have to apply for an extension. Send that application off while you are there.
  • Make another cup of tea. If it’s only 3pm and you’ve only already had 6 cups of tea already, you won’t be able to write your essay properly.
  • You could try reading a good book, although admittedly that is hard to do without feeling terribly guilty, unless the book happens to be related to the essay you are trying to avoid writing. But that seems unlikely.
  • Read a good book to your child if you have one.* ย Ha! – no guilt necessary, as this equals some lovely quality time spent with child.
  • Tell your child it’s time you combed through his/her hair checking for nits. *Extra Tip: the longer the hair, the longer it will take! As an added bonus, you might even find nits! Then the entire evening will be successfully taken up with treating the entire household! It’s a win-win for everyone, except the nits.
  • Bake a cake. Here in Melbourne it’s just the weather for a nice warm slice of cake. Mmmmm. I can recommend apple cake, which I rustled up on Sunday afternoon, in a very successful exercise in procrastination from essay writing.
  • Cook a meal. Although it is recommended to do this during other times in your life as well, cooking takes on a new relaxing dimension if you are trying to avoid writing an essay. After baking a cake on Sunday, I went straight on to baked potatoes, baked snapper fillets and corn on the cob. If the oven is already on, why not keep throwing things in it? (It may sound ย a strange order to do them in, but I find cake baking is perfect for a cold Sunday afternoon and dinner is perfect for dinner time, regardless of the weather.)
  • Pour another glass of wine. If it’s 9pm and you’ve only had 3 glasses of wine, it’s probably not time to start your essay yet.
  • Google search your own name to see how many entries on yourself you can locate.
  • Google search your friends to see if they come up more often than you do.
  • Sit down and write a stupid post on your blog. *Extra Tip: you may even be able to waste an extra 15 minutes looking for a picture to add to the post.
  • Check the time. If it’s after 10.45 and you have to work tomorrow morning, it’s definitely far too late to start writing your essay. Go to bed!

Laundry Room

* I am not aware of any blog called The Anally Retentive Housekeeper, although it wouldn’t surprise me at all if there is one.

* For this tip it works best if you have both things, ie, a child, and a good book. You can try it with a child and a mediocre book, but if you have a good book and no child, this tip is just not going anywhere except right back to the previous tip where you end up feeling guilty reading the damn book!

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15 Comments

  1. Dori

     /  May 24, 2011

    Did you hang out in my house today???? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

    Reply
    • Woah, that was quick! Think I was still writing this post when you commented…is that possible????

      Hmm, let’s see….was I at your house today?…..no, it wasn’t me……guess it must’ve been you! Hope that washing got folded and those emails got filed! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Like

      Reply
  2. Sheah

     /  May 26, 2011

    oh my god are you totally reading my mind? It must obviously be end of semester time

    Like

    Reply
    • Ha, ha, yes, it must be! Guess that’s why you are wasting precious time reading my blog, and why I am wasting precious time checking my blog???!! (Well, I just finished the bibliography, so I felt I deserved a break! Now it’s time to read over the whole essay and go “what the f%&* am I even trying to say in this piece of under-researched twaddle?” )

      BTW, If you are in danger of getting any work done, you could always start a blog! Then you can send me the link and I can waste more time reading that too!!!! Anyway, hope your end-of-semester work is going well! And thanks for reading my rubbish – when you really should be doing your school work! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      PS, I am thinking of you guys today – very sad about Dodge….I know he will be one sadly missed little doggy.

      Like

      Reply
  3. I’m trying not to giggle out loud in my silent lab, where I should be… you guessed it. Writing an essay.

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    Reply
    • Oh dear….! I saw on your blog that you’re writing an essay relating 2 art works and “health psychology” – sounds like a daunting task that would require quite a bit of procrastinating! Good luck!

      Like

      Reply
  4. TedWest

     /  January 28, 2014

    I have 2 days to write 4000 words…am I fucked?

    Like

    Reply
    • No way! That is 2000 words each day, or only 200 words an hour if you spend 10 hrs per day on it (which is likely at this point). – only 1 paragraph per hour! Go for it!

      Of course if you haven’t already done your reading, thinking, and forming of your own ideas for the essay, you’ll need to factor in time for that first. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

      Like

      Reply
  5. You could add ‘Read blog posts on procrastinating’ there. Which is what I am doing at this very moment…

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    Reply
    • Oh dear. I read somewhere, that if writers really wrote about what they know, they’d all write about procrastinating by surfing the internet. It’s hard to avoid! Good luck!

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      Reply
  6. Hahaa! This is awesome. I don’t feel quite so alone now. It is always a good indication that I’ve been procrastinating when my laundry is in tact and my closet is immaculate.

    I really loved this post.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Thanks Lucky Wreck! It’s bern so long since I wrote it that i had to read back on it. Yep, all still true. I had to do some tedious paperwork (for work) at home yesterday – so Before tackling that, I washed the windows (for the first time in months), and then made Tiramisu.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. weebluebirdie

     /  July 9, 2016

    Perfect! I have a new mentor for procrastination ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s good to see how seriously you take your procrastinating. My post was just what I did yesterday, well apart from the umbrella bit, it actually didn’t rain. I work in a part of town which is posh – please note, I am not posh, I just work near posh people. All the posh town houses are filled with exclusive accountancy firms and financial advisors and other things I will never need. When it rains, I have a grand time out on the pavement with my umbrella. And because they’re posh people, they apologise to me – HA!

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    Reply
    • My post was probably all the things I’d done that day too – it was a very busy time, with all the procrastinating that had to be done to avoid that 4000 word essay. The laundry has never got itself sorted out so swiftly.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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