Air Supply, Yoga mats and Celebrity Chef ears

It’s an astounding thing to contemplate: that anyone of the approximately 7 billion people in the world, given access to a computer and an internet connection could, in theory, locate my blog and read the ramblings therein.

I estimate that about 6.9 billion of you have still not managed to find your way to it, (that is something I will take up separately with my Marketing team after this session), but nevertheless it’s true that a tiny little sliver of the world’s population, representative of many different countries and continents, apparently view it on any given day. Probably for a brief second before realising it was not at all what they were looking for when they entered “4000 word essay on Macbeth” into their browser.

It’s always fun to check in and look over the search terms that caused people to end up, however briefly, landing on my blog. After all, it’s that first random selection of words entered into a browser that is responsible for introducing a reader to a new blog, and sometimes, for developing some long lasting blog-based friendships! Not only is it fun, but it’s a handy excuse to blatantly plug lovingly revisit some past posts.

A glance at the popular search terms over the last quarter reveals that leading the pack at number 1 is steady favourite, Nigella Lawson ears, followed in second place by Nigella Lawson’s ears. As I scroll down the list of popular search terms, I also spy variations such as nigella lawsons ears, nigella huge ears, does nigella lawson have big ears, and other variations on the theme. I feel a little bit bad about this – it certainly wasn’t my intention to hint that Lawson had elephant-sized ears when I wrote a silly post about her ears. Lawson has some great recipes that even I can follow and the woman makes a mean trifle, and has also been in the news for aspects of her personal life, but apparently the thing that people just can’t get enough information about is her (apparently enormous) ears. Ah, people.

Nigella Lawson

Nigella rambles as much as I do, but her recipes are better than mine!

 

Lawson’s ears have been very high on the searched terms on my blog for a year or more now, but long-time readers will recall that there have been other contenders for first place. There was a time when Lawson was vying for first place with  an Australian band from the late seventies-early 80s era, Air Supply. Well, people do still search for them, but I’m sad to report that Air Supply have slipped down to number 37* with only one search in the past quarter of a year for air supply 80’s.

Air Supply

Air Supply – going for the ‘boy next door’ look

Let’s face it, the 80’s are so long ago now that the only time you are likely to hear the words air supply and 80’s in the same sentence is when a paramedic is trying to resucitate an octogenarian.

A while back, Air Supply were in another neck-to-neck race to be the most popular search term on my blog, that time competing against yoga mats. Yoga mat still is a popular search term that remains close to the top of the charts, probably due to the silliness of this post about yoga mats, and it’s equally, if not even more silly, sequel, this post here. Other variations that people have searched include yoga matts, (hint: if your name is Matt and you run a yoga studio, I’ve got a great business name idea for you), nidra yoga pose, and yogamat.

Yoga Mat - 3 views

The question, why is there always one sock left over when you fold laundry? must have led the questioner to my post about The Behaviour of Socks, where I covered the well-documented phenomenon of the missing sock and illustrated how quantum physics could explain the disappearance of socks from the laundry. (I doubt that I mentioned anything about folding laundry, however, as I rarely do it myself. I prefer to let it pile up in the basket until it puts itself away, or rather, until members of the household make dents in the pile by taking out items when they’ve run out of clean underwear/socks/school uniforms.)

Back when I was writing the posts mentioned above, I could count the followers of this blog on the fingers of one hand, so when I first published a post about the song Hello This Is Joanie, it was read by almost no-one, but strangely, this one seems to be a sleeper: searches for that song appear to steadily increase in number each time I do this kind of review. In the past quarter, search terms have included: hello this is joanie, songs with joanie in them, sorry this is joanie, lyrics for the song hello this is joannii in sorry that im not home. Current trends indicate that by the year 2030, there will be a need for a Hello This Is Joanie iPhone app that provides wikipedia-like information related to the song, while playing the song (forwards or backwards.)

Exam hysteria must not have quite set in yet this term, as there are disappointingly few searches for another hot topic on my blog, how to write 4000 word essay in one day, (sic), nor are there the usual batch of questions about Macbeth. The only sign of a student somewhere out there, trying to write an English literature essay is this badly-phrased search: what does nothingness signified in the waiting for godot. What indeed? Nothing, probably. If still unsure you could try reading this, but it’s likely that you won’t find an answer to your question in amongst that drivel.

There are always a few entertainingly random phrases flung into the melting pot, and it’s sometimes hard to know why or how they landed on my blog. Some of those searched in the past few months include blob eating woman, reasons why year round school is a bad idea graph (that graph sounds like a good idea) and michael hutchence monologues on stage, as well as the eternal question, are 3/4 length pants daggy looking?  (no idea how that landed someone on my blog, as I don’t recall ever giving any fashion advice, but if you want my opinion – yes they are).

Finally, there are always lots of searches along the lines of these:  sudden death of my brother, only brother sudden death, letter to my brother who passed away, and my brother died in his sleep. Reminding me that there is someone out there every day, trying to find some meaning, or answer, or even just comfort, in the face of a sudden death. And that some things can’t be made light of.

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2 Comments

  1. Well, I stumbled across your blog because of the hilarious sock post. Started to follow you then and stayed because you continue to be darned funny. Turns out we agree on the 3/4 length pants too.

    I also feel we have something more in common as I too have written a post, or a letter to, my own beloved brother who passed away.

    I love the way the Internet can actually connect us, rather than just turning us all into screen obsessed zombies who don’t talk to each other anymore.

    Anyways, a big thanks for your blog posts from Canada!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Me too Tandi. Thanks for your very heartwarming comment. We do have something extra in common with both having lost our younger brothers. And its the lovely thing about blogs – that in many other ways we are probably very different (for example, I cant imagine ever making a decision to live on a houseboat in a place where temperatures are considered warm when it gets to 0!) we have “met” because of our blogs and connected because of that shared experience. I’ve appreciated all your comments.

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